What Does It Take?
by WhizGidget
Summary: It's 1990, and things have changed... *complete*


Title: What Does It Take?

Disclaimer: All characters contained herein are the property of Warner Brothers Television Productions and Shoot The Moon Productions.I just want to borrow them to play a little. 

The song, "What Does It Take" was written by Jason Scheff and Gerard McMahon, recorded by Chicago in 1990, and can be found on Chicago 21.(Lyrics appear in italics)

Author: WhizGidget

Written: February 15, 2001 - ???

Rating: G

Timing: 1990.Refers to canon, but is definitely a work of my own creatively devious mind.

Comments?Love 'em.Good and Bad.That way I know what I did right and wrong.Flames?Sure, you don't see very many fire-breathing dragons anymore…

* * *

_All I do is think about you_

_I never did let go of what we were_

_Can't pretend I'll live without you_

_As I learn to live alone._

Truer words had never been spoken… or should that be sung? 

Lee Stetson listened to the pop song playing in the background as his gaze wandered across the embassy ballroom at the slim and pretty brunette who was coordinating security for the State Department.He had heard it before on the radio, and he mused that it could have described his life for the last couple of years to a "T".He had had everything he ever wanted in his life, but without even trying, it had all fallen apart.

He had never been able to forget about her.And in the whole time that they had been apart, Scarecrow had gone back to his ways that he had been like before he met her.In all ways but one.He hadn't dated any other woman since Amanda.She was everything, and even though they had never lived under the same roof, they had been in each other's lives for 5 years.He knew almost everything there was to know about her, and had become as much a part of his life as sleeping and eating were. 

He felt like he had known her for forever, and he had to learn how to be alone again from scratch.No, it wasn't like falling off a bike.And he was lonely.He had nightmares about seeing her in another man's arms.He still didn't understand what had happened two years earlier.

'Two years?' he thought to himself.'Why does she look so amazing after two years, and I feel like I've aged twenty?'He sighed silently to himself, and looked down into the wine glass he was holding.A familiar voice broke his reverie. 

"Scarecrow, go over there and talk to her.She won't bite."Lee looked up into the concerned face of his friend and Section Chief, William Melrose.

"Billy, I can't.It's been too long.Too much has happened." 

"Too much?What has happened to you, Lee?You're still in the Q-Bureau.You still work every holiday that you can.You still work alone, live alone and sleep alone.The only thing that seemed to have happened to you is, well, nothing.Except losing two years that could have been spent with Amanda."Billy crossed his arms in front of him, and looked sternly at his friend.He had been sad to see Amanda King leave The Agency, and more remorseful to see Lee remain there without her. 

"Billy, what makes you think we could ever be together?Look at her.She's happy, alive.She looks great.She's doing great over at State, and she doesn't need me."

"How do you know that, Lee?I still talk to Amanda occasionally, and she's still alone too.And I know that you two were involved, there's no reason to hide from me.Since I know you haven't talked to her, how do you know what she needs?"

"She told me that she didn't need me anymore when she left The Agency.Aw, Billy, what's the use?It's over.It's been over for a long time.It's like I never knew her… like she was never even there to begin with."Lee took a drink from his wine glass, and then set it down on the nearest table.He didn't want to rehash their whole relationship in one night, but as Billy walked away, Lee started thinking about all that time that had been wasted.

_Why can't I be a man about it_

_I've tried and tried to hide you from my heart_

_If I could just forget about us_

_If I knew just where to start_

_You are my destiny._

When he'd run across her, desperate for help on that train station platform, she was just another face in the crowd, albeit a pretty one.And one that looked trustworthy.How hard could it have been to pass off a package to a man in a red hat, after all?She was just a housewife from Arlington, and to tell the truth, she wasn't even that.She was a divorced, single mom from Arlington who fell for the excitement of what The Agency could offer.It would have been so easy to just forget about her.Lee thought for a moment that that's what he should have done early on, just forget about her.After Billy initially brought her on board, he didn't have to work with her… or go see her as often as he did, heading over to her house for one thing or another.But he did. 

As time wore on, Billy hadn't put them together as much as Lee had suggested working with Amanda.Finally, he had to admit that she had some good instincts.And that she was a good partner.And, eventually, he had to admit that she was a good friend.That really shocked him.After all, he was the famous Scarecrow who didn't need anyone, but more and more he had found himself thinking and dreaming about Amanda King.No matter how hard he tried to distance himself from her, ignore her, make comments that would have driven most sane women away she still was there.Always around, always helpful, always willing to listen.He began to realize that Scarecrow was just a mask that he wore, as if at a costume party, and that Lee Stetson was a flesh and blood human being.A once orphaned little boy who stopping hiding behind shadows and came into the light.A man who needed this very unique woman in his life. 

That's when he realized he was in love with her.Life was so much better with her in it, and he wanted her to be a part of it forever.And once they made that commitment, it all went downhill from there.

_What does it take_

_To win you back_

_To hold in these arms once more_

_What can I say_

_To make you understand_

_You're still all I'm waiting for_

The words and sentiment of the song hadn't been lost on Amanda King.She'd heard the song numerous times on the radio in recent days.She stole a quick glance over at her former husband, and caught him looking at her.She looked away quickly enough to not have noticed that he did the same thing.

She smiled to herself and shook her head slightly.Despite the less traumatic lifestyle that her position at the State Department afforded her, she still felt like someone had put her into a blender for the last two years and pressed the puree setting for a little too long.She looked up again to see that Lee was no longer looking in her direction, but was talking to Billy Melrose.This afforded her the opportunity to take a longer look at Lee.

She hadn't seen him in over a year.And he still looked much the same as he had when she first met him on the train station platform almost 8 years earlier.His sandy brown hair was still styled much the same way, although it was looking a little long in back, and he still looked as dashing as ever in his black tuxedo.But there was something about the look on his face that kept Amanda's attention, he didn't look as happy as he used to.From that look on his face, she couldn't even be sure that he still had that familiar twinkle in his pretty green eyes, and he certainly wasn't smiling.'I can sure relate to that," Amanda thought solemnly.Ever since they had dissolved their partnership and relationship, Amanda's mother had noticed that she didn't look nearly as happy as she used to be, and had commented herself that the twinkle seemed to be missing from her daughter's brown eyes.

She noticed Billy walk away, and how lonely Lee seemed to be all of a sudden.His shoulders sagged slightly as if he was tired, but it was more like he was bearing the weight of the world on them.Amanda remembered that the last time she had seen him that way was long before he told her he loved her.After that, he was always standing tall, and proud – he had a secret that he couldn't tell anyone.She had spent so much time waiting for those walls he had built around his emotions to break down, and once they had, it was like Lee Stetson was a whole different person.Everyone around them had noticed a difference in him, but no one person had the satisfaction of an answer – only rumors could put a reason to the changes in his personality.

They had fallen in love in the Q-Bureau, admitted it when the government thought that they were traitors, and got engaged under the most unusual of circumstances – while being held captive by a terrorist who was going to kill them.'You'd think that we could have lasted forever on the basis of that start,' she thought to herself.

They had gotten married, in a secret ceremony, so as to protect her children from any harm.After all, Scarecrow had earned many enemies over the years at The Agency.Amanda had earned her fair share as well, working as his partner.But after being married for close to a year, and getting pressure from friends and family alike as to when they were going to settle down together, they didn't seem to be as close as they once were.

It had started as a simple disagreement over whether or not they should announce an engagement, or just 'elope' again on their wedding anniversary and tell everyone after the fact.Amanda had wanted to announce their engagement and quietly get married again on their anniversary, so that no one would be the wiser.Lee thought eloping again would be the right way to go about things.When that argument had reached an impasse, they scrapped the idea and discussed coming clean with everyone about the truth.But that too would have emotional consequences that neither side was ready or willing to deal with.

Then there was the assignment that went south.It had been a simple milk run that Lee and Amanda decided to do together, as the location was to be a street fair near the Embassy celebrating Romania's victories in the Olympic Games that summer.Retrieve the package, and turn it over to The Agency.It had turned dangerous when the package turned out to be a Romanian nuclear scientist who had deep ties in the European intelligence community and was attempting to defect.It went to a full scramble when the two agents realized they were being followed and lost the scientist in the crowds to a man with a semi-automatic pointed at Amanda.Lee had weighed his options and got Amanda out of harm's way before tending to the needs of the defecting man.And thus, brought disgrace to The Agency when the man turned up dead in an alley, two blocks away. 

_At times I feel it's best without you_

_And times I still believe in you so much_

_After what I've been through without you_

_You'd think that I'd move on_

_But you're still my destiny._

Amanda was busy trying to convince herself that quitting The Agency after the incident and telling Lee that she didn't need him anymore in her life was the right thing to do.She had gotten the job offer at State, and jumped on it – it would mean more money and stable hours for her to be around for the boys.And it would be safe – she wouldn't have strange agents (or for that matter, agents that she knew that went bad) placing a gun against her neck and threatening her life.She encouraged Lee to come over too, but he had put in so much time with The Agency, and wasn't willing to leave it for a desk job – he still loved the physical aspect of making a difference, despite the obvious risks.She did, too, but she also couldn't get past the thought that Lee held their failure with the defection against her. 

She was still busy convincing herself that she had done the right thing for the thousandth time, when she realized that she had been staring across the room, as if in a trance, at Lee.He shook his head too – he had been in the same little memory zone she had been, and their eyes caught.Amanda brought a short smile to her face, and then shyly looked down and away.'God, why does he still do that to me?Why do I still love him so much? Why did we do this to ourselves – maybe… maybe it was a mistake…'She realized what she was thinking and tried to shake the feeling out of her head.

They were both better off without each other.Amanda didn't have to lie to her mother about where she was at night, and never have to wonder if she would ever see her boys again.She had kept tabs on Lee through Billy, and knew that he still had the best record in The Agency, despite what had happened two years earlier.She rationalized it all by the fact that he could be a better agent without her.She wouldn't be a distraction if they split up.It's not as if they were together to begin with – they spent so many nights apart as a married couple, that Amanda didn't think that she'd know how to treat him if they had moved in together and maintained a traditional marriage. 

Still, even after their separation and divorce, she hadn't moved on.She hadn't dated anyone, despite her mother's attempts to set her up with eligible men she met in the supermarket.Amanda didn't think she'd ever find anyone who was as special to her as Lee.She felt in her heart that they belonged together – fate, destiny, and the great powers that be had put them together at that train station, but it wasn't reasonable unless they both lived in the normal world.And they were so far past normal that Amanda didn't even remember what normal was like.'He looks so alone.Maybe I should just go over and say hello.' 

Amanda shook her head again, as Billy approached her.This was a joint operation between State and The Agency, and she needed her head clear to bring him up to date.She smiled wryly to herself knowing where the conversation would turn, and that there would be nothing for her to bring him up to date on.She hadn't been doing anything since leaving Lee and The Agency.

_What does it take_

_'cause we can't go back_

_Can't be like it was before_

_What does it take_

_To win you back_

_To hold in these arms_

_What does it take_

_What will it take now?_

Lee looked around the room for Billy, and noticed that he had approached Amanda and was talking with her.He noticed that they both stole glances in his direction as he stood there, nonchalantly leaning against a pillar keeping an eye on things, when all he wanted to do was cross that room and take her in his arms again.'Wait a second, where did *that* come from?'Lee was shocked with himself.He wasn't going to get over her if he kept thinking about her that way, or if he thought about her at all.

He had to admit that he was a coward.He didn't have it in him to stop thinking about her.To move on with his life.And he had even less courage to be able to cross the room, say hello, and have a calm friendly conversation.The mere thought of it made him shiver.He had picked up another glass of wine, and was looking down into it, when the thought struck him – he didn't know what he would do if *she* came to talk to him.That's when he looked up and his worst fear was coming true.

She was slowly crossing the room, with a hesitant look on her face, heading straight for him.She couldn't be going anywhere else – he was in a corner, there was nothing there, but a table and him.'What am I possibly going to say to her?' How ironic, that the man who could always think of something to say to a beautiful woman, couldn't think of anything to say to his former wife.

"Hello, Lee."Amanda was more nervous than she ever thought she could be.Billy had approached at just the right time to convince her to at least go talk to him.She was glad that she got the opportunity to speak first.

Lee just stood there for a few seconds, his mind a blank at what to say.Then he said the first thing that came to his mind.As the last line of the song filled the ballroom, he said it carefully along with the vocal…

_"All I do is think about you…" _


End file.
